In SEVEN days I will be headed home to Texas. It’s odd to say that it’s my home as I don’t really live there anymore – physically or otherwise. But the closer I get to going back, the more nostalgic I become. The food tastes better there (true), the sky’s bigger and the thunderstorms are better (true), the people are all fantastic (true – at least the ones that matter most), and everything is covered with the rainbow-sheen gleam of nostalgia. Somehow I’d all but forgotten the almost soul-crushing feelings of claustrophobia. I’ve glossed over the awkward moments and painted a picture so lovely, so friendly, and so delicious that I can’t help but want to rush back into the arms of the place I’ve called home and ride my unicorn* all the way to the taco stand.
*Hey. This is about Texas. Where people ride horses. FACT. They are the primary mode of transportation. FACT. We also all have guns (See Below), vote Rep., listen to twangy hillbilly music, and have generally bigoted attitudes toward anyone who ain’t white, upper-middle class, and straight. ALSO FACTS. (I’ve actually been informed of these things here in the UK by people in the know. So it must all be true.) Oh, such heavy sarcasm. Anywho, it stands to reason that the unicorn becomes the transportation of choice in this rose-tinted fantasy.
But it can’t be the same. How could it be? And would you really want it to be exactly the same as it was when you lived it? That the place remains stagnant, the people arrested in time? The fact that everything, everyone, changes is the inevitable part of life. I am not – thankfully – the same person I once was in that place. I have grown, suffered, celebrated, and learned so much in the two years I’ve been in London. And what’s more, I chose to grow, to suffer, to celebrate, and to learn as much as I possibly could – more than I ever could in the place I call home.
So I will return – not to the way I was, but to the place I call home – excited to see the changes made there as well. Plus, there’s the food… mmm… tacos… But more on that later.