I’m going to come right out and say it. I hate voicemail. I don’t know what’s worse: knowing that somewhere inside my phone is a message and that I’ll have to take three whole minutes from my day to listen/delete/respond, or leaving a message myself. I hate leaving voicemail because by the time I’ve gotten to the end my message reads like an elderly drunk as I wax nostalgic about Turtlewax and how music was better in my day and forgotten why I’ve called you in the first place.
I hate checking it. I’d rather answer the phone and talk to people I don’t like than check it. And I never check it until I’ve gotten the inbox full message glaring at me for at least a month. Unless it’s reallysuperimportant for the love of unicorns just send me a text. Or a carrier pigeon. Anything but a voicemail.
However, I’ve always wanted a celebrity to do my voicemail greeting. How great would that be if you called and got sent straight to voicemail and heard, oh… say, Liam Neeson. Seriously. That happened. So I’ve narrowed it down to the following five famous voices who I’ll happily let state how I’m not available and explain the message-leaving process.
CELEBRITY VOICEMAIL GREETINGS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:
Who doesn’t want to be greeted by the voice of a squared-jawed beefcake? Seriously. Can’t make this stuff up. Well, I could. But I didn’t.
Eddie Izzard as Sean Connery as James Bond.
Don’t know the reference? Get thee to Youtube, stat!
That sexy gravelly voice asking you if you want to leave a message. Well? Do ya, punk?
Emma Clarke (Voice of the London Underground)
This is a Picadilly Line Service to Cockfosters. Gets me every time.
And of course, Christopher Walken.
Insert anything. He ever said. Ever.
Who’s on your fantasy voicemail list?